Dear Olga: Claus

Dearest Olga,

I am so sorry we missed you on Tuesday night.  I hope you were able to rummage and find something suitable to eat.  That was an unfortunate story about your watch.  Maybe Jules and I will buy you one for Christmas?  Until then you should learn to tell time by the sun and the stars.  Good luck.  Your family sounds nice.  Speaking of letters, someone left a slab of pork on our porch last night.  A piece of paper was attached that read, "read the Olga".  It's from a Mr. Claus, and I think he meant for us to read the letter to you in person.  I'm going to spare us the face to face contact and write it here... on your blog... for you to read.

Olga,

make husband of claus you.  learn of the english.  soon be i write of you say? poems?  marriage of claus 2 weeks, dah? olga know the love is claus. 

love with you,
claus

He also posted this on his blog - which I think was somehow in reference to the fresh cute meat he so lovingly left outside our door. 

Take care of Claus.

Love,
your American friends.